Once upon a time, women worked out how to make their own sperm using nothing more than a washing up bottle, sticky back plastic and a sieve
Ha! They cried and did away with men. The next day, a world of risk-averse hedge-fund managers sprung up. 24 Series 8 was abandoned.
All wars ended due to lack of interest. Lamborghini went bust. Netball became the most-watched sport. All pupils got straight As.
No more global warming. Giant pandas prolific. Toilet seats never left up. Porn stars kept their clothes on and chatted a lot. And cuddled.
Four months later, the United Nations met and decided everything was just hunky-dory and disbanded. Life was sweet until…
… somewhere in a small market town 25 minutes by train from Waterloo, a fuse went. A house fell into darkness. A scented candle was lit.
Nearby, a DVD recorder stopped working. Less nearby, a new single bed was delivered. But it was unexpectedly flatpacked. And really heavy.
Hair clogged drains. Spiders came out of plug holes. Cars ran out of windscreen-wiper fluid. Privat hedges raged out of control…
… then the UN Secretary General, Sheryl, was driving through France and couldn’t work out how to open the petrol cap. Nor could her staff.
‘Enough,’ she declared when she finally made the meeting. ‘We need men’. And they were reintroduced. And nobody lived girlily ever after
I couldn't help but laughing out loud when I read your post Matt. Thank goodness I am an anonymous blogger because I am a bit more right wing than most women (and I'd be afraid of a burning set of knickers on my front lawn). I'm all for women's right. My god! But, there are some things women do need men for (how many times have those delectable pickles been staring at me and no one has been home and that damned hermetically sealed jar won't bloody open no matter how many times I've tried with a rubber glove!) You know, I think women want equality in pay, in work titles--and that they should. But when it comes to admitting things like being stronger than men, or not needing them EVER as father figures, I just don't agree (though, of course, I believe in homosexual couples raising children). I just think men get a bad rap. And I think you humorously expressed it wisely. Being a woman, I love my independence, but you know what, I also love having that damned pickle jar opened for me and having a bloke get up from his seat on the Tube when I have had a rough day at work. Sorry bra burners and suffragettes! I am on your side.....but, I do love me a good man! xoxoxoxo--www.oneof365.com
ReplyDeleteOne day a man decided he didn't need a woman...a week later he had no clean clothes as he couldn't work the washing machine, yet he could fix the dvd player. He couldn't find his keys (I bet the ex hid them!) but that doesn't matter as he would only get lost if he went out alone - he would never ask for directions. He felt sick and tired after eating nothing but take-aways as the kitchen appliances were too tricky to work out. He sat in his one sock (where had the other gone??) feeling lonely. Silly silly man.
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