Friday, July 3, 2009

Twitlit 13: by my special guest Ariane Sherine. Rhyming and everything...

PALE BLUE DOT

There once lived a lady named Dot/Who tweeted on Twitter *a LOT*/

She frittered away/All hours of her day/Until her brain started to rot.

On Tweetdeck and Twitpic she’d tweet/And Tweetie if out on the street/To them her eyes glued/Unsociably rude!/Her pals beat a hasty retreat.

She tweeted the pals “It’s far better/To tweet me in 140 letters/As these days I balk/At in-person talk"/(The pals all agreed to forget 'er)

And so Dot lost all of her friends/But that isn’t where the tale ends/(For followers she/Had 6213/So felt no need to make amends).

Then round came the day of her birth/The day she’d arrived on the Earth/In 24 hours/She’d no cards or flowers/Or presents, and so her self-worth

It sank like a stone in the sea/In bleakness and pain wallowed she/It seemed all her tweeting/Had been self-defeating/For none of those 6213

Had sent her a single email/For Dot, this was beyond the pale/She said with a yelp/”I must get some help/Or Twitter will brand my life FAIL”

And so Dot attended a shrink/And with a theatrical wink/He sat in a chair/And shot her a stare/And asked, “So what makes your heart sink?”

"My Twitter addiction!" she cried/"I'm poised to commit suicide!/But were I not there/ Would anyone care?/Would they be aware I had died?"

The shrink said “There is a swift cure/Although you may find it a bore/Turn off your PC/Your phone and TV/And get the hell out of the door!”

 "Although the addiction is rife/It's giving you far too much strife/

Relax and retreat/Refuse to retweet/Stop worrying and enjoy your life!"

 Dot thought “On this my life depends”/She quickly made up with her friends/Then burnt her PC/And lo, fast was she/Happy ever after! The End.

 

No comments:

Post a Comment