Two households, alike in dignity, In Norwich, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes hands unclean
From forth the fatal loins of these foes came Romeo and Julie, not exactly star crossed cos that's like so uncool but into each other a bit
Totally pissed off with their parents though. ‘I’m seeing him tonight and there’s nuffink you can do about it, you get me?’ said Julie to her mum
‘You step out that door, Julie, and there’ll be hell to pay. That family’s no good, I’m telling you,’ yelled Landlady Capulet. She ran a pub.
R and J on a bench. ‘Thought you were going to snog that old bloke.’ ‘No, dad trying to set me up.’ ‘Gross.’ ‘Love you.’ ‘Love you.’
‘Dad says after that knife fight, I can’t see you again. And he doesn’t even know about that accident with that karate guy in the wardrobe.
‘I’ll leave Norwich for a few hours,’ said Romeo. Julie went home to a cross mum. ‘You’re going on a date with Geoff,’ insisted Mrs Capulet.
‘I am so not. He smells. I’d rather kill myself.’ She stropped off to drown her sorrows in WKDs. Romeo returned to find Julie passed out.
She hadn’t finished her WKDs so he drank them. And passed out. Julie woke up, thought Romeo was dead (stupid) and jumped in the River Yare
Romeo woke up, heard Julie was drowned, shrugged and went to the pub with Susie, Julie’s sister. Julie’s parents were right. He was no good
If he that had writ it had played Pyramus and hanged himself in Thisbe's garter, it would have been a fine tragedy: and so it is, truly; and very notably discharged.
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